


things have a way of catching up to you

by Waffles Of Doom



Category: iCarly
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-26
Updated: 2011-04-13
Packaged: 2014-11-11 17:18:36
Rating: T
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,556
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6778607/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2409509/Waffles-Of-Doom
Summary: Freddie Benson is an intern, the bottom of the ladder, his job owns him, and he loves it. He loves the order, the sense his job makes, to him at least. Then, Sam Puckett turns up in the ER, and his world is turned up side down all over again.





	1. One

**One.**

"We have an unidentified female, in her late twenties," One of the ambulance crew said, pushing the gurney into the ER of the hospital. "Gun shot wound to the abdomen, lacerations on her arms and legs, possible spinal injury."

Freddie Benson, one of the three interns on the emergency rotation with Dr Fielding that morning rushed to the side of the bed as they lifted the patient over to a hospital bed.

And he froze in shock as he got a proper look at the patient.

"Benson!" Dr Fielding snapped, her voice irate. "What the hell are you doing, just standing there?"

Freddie shook his head, and tried to snap out of it. "Her name is Samantha, Samantha Puckett."

"Do you know this person?"

"She goes by Sam," Freddie mumbled, looking at the badly beaten girl. Her blonde curls were matted with blood and dirt, her face swollen and almost unrecognisable. But he knew, Freddie knew her face anywhere.

"Do you know this person?" Fielding yelled again, her voice demanding an answer.

"Yes," Freddie replied quickly. "Yeah, I know her. We're married."

The world seemed to slow down, and all heads turned to look at the dark haired intern.

"Married?" Fielding couldn't deal with this right now, not when she had a patient waiting. "Okay, what's her blood type?"

"Uh," Freddie racked his brains. "AB plus." He finally said.

"Go with Kelly," Fielding ordered. "We need her medical history."

"She's probably still registered as Sam Benson," Freddie said, not moving.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Fielding repeated, and Jane Kelly, a blonde haired nurse pulled the shocked doctor from where Sam was being worked on.

"They're going to take good care of her Freddie," Jane reassured him. She had done this so many times, pulled people away from their hurt relatives, but it felt different when it was one of her own, one of the hospital staff.

"She has to be okay," Freddie stumbled slightly, still looking over his shoulder. He ignored the fact the entire ER, the staff who weren't with patients, hell the staff with patients were gawping.

Jane looked at him carefully. "She'll be fine Freddie, you know how good everyone here is."

"Things can go wrong." He said, his mind racing.

"That's why you've got to have a little faith," Jane replied.

Freddie took one last look where the doctors were working on Sam. She had to be okay, she had to be.

/

Freddie was driven to distraction, waiting for news on Sam. The chief had pulled him off service, and he was now getting his first experience of what it was like to be the person waiting for news, rather than delivering it.

It was worse, being on this side. Not being able to do anything. He hadn't been allowed scrub in, or go up to the gallery. Which was why he was sitting on the floor outside OR 1.

"Freddie?" Doctor Grace Maslow, still wearing her scrubs approached him.

"How is she?" He practically leapt from his seat.

"They're still operating," She replied. "But we need to ask you something, you're listed as her next of kin and emergency contact."

Freddie nodded.

"Part of the bullet has been lodged in her pancreas, and the only way to get it out would be to remove part of her pancreas." Grace explained.

"That'd make her a diabetic," Freddie said, rubbing his neck.

"There's the possibility," Grace nodded. "Do we have your permission?"

"Jesus.." Freddie didn't know. It hit him there and then that he knew nothing about wanted Sam wanted anymore, yet he was responsible for making life changing decisions. How the hell was he supposed to decide?

"I need to know now Freddie,"

"Yeah." He finally answered. "Yeah, you have my permission."

Grace nodded, and returned to the OR. Freddie started pacing, hoping to god he make the right choice.

/

"Benson?" Dr Fielding approached him. All Freddie knew was that Sam had made it through surgery, no one had told him anything more.

"How is she?" He demanded, not caring that Fielding was his boss, and would take the head of his shoulders for talking to her with an attitude like that.

"She's holding up," Fielding replied, for once being understanding. "We had to remove a large section of her pancreas, but she's stable for now."

"Thank god," Freddie let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Can I see her?"

Fielding nodded, and started to lead him to a recovery room where Sam was hooked up to dozens of machines.

"Christ Sam," He sighed, pushing her blonde bangs back from her forehead. Her face was clean now, but it was covered in cuts, bandages and slowly blossoming bruises. "What the hell have you done to yourself?"

Sam looked so fragile, lying there. She looked almost peaceful too; no fighting back, no insults or arguing.

Freddie left out a strangled laugh. If only she had been this quiet growing up, he might have had a calmer adolescence. But that thought only lasted a second, because it didn't take long for him to miss the insults, and the wicked comments and the sparkle that was always in Sam's eyes.

He sat down next to the bed, holding her hand in his, gently as if she would break. Freddie didn't realize he was crying until a tear dropped on the pale skin of Sam's hand, glistening in the dim light of the room.

"What did you get yourself into?" He repeated. "You were never one for being safe, but this is reaching new heights, even for you."

He tone was almost angry, and he was angry. Angry at Sam for getting hurt, angry at her for leaving in the first place.

He hated her. Then again, he loved her ten times more.

/

"I can't believe he's married," Niall, one of the interns Freddie lived with said. "He's never mentioned her before,"

"He doesn't wear a wedding ring," Sarah, another intern added.

They, along with Grace were looking on at Freddie, who was sitting beside Sam's bed. He'd been there for the past few hours, and didn't seem to have intention of moving.

"It's his business," Grace shrugged, looking through one of her patients charts.

"We've been working together for almost a year," Sarah said pointedly. "All of us live together, and we're friends- or so I thought."

"Everyone has something they don't talk about," Grace said.

"Even you?" Niall looked at her carefully, trying to read her expression.

"Like I said," She replied. "Everyone has things they don't talk about." She slotted the chart back onto the shelf where the others were, and seeing as she had a spare few minutes, she decided to check on Freddie.

Grace entered the room, the doors opening with a quiet swish that caused Freddie to look up.

"How are you?" She asked.

"Fine," Freddie nodded, his creased forehead and bleary eyes telling a different story. "Just wondering how the hell this happened,"

"We wont know until she wakes up," Grace tried to make her voice reassuring.

"If she wakes up," Freddie corrected, and as Grace's face turned to an expression close to surprise. "Fielding went through all the possibilities. Not that I wouldn't have thought so anyway, I'm a doctor too."

Grace squeezed his shoulder. "So, you're married?" She raised an eyebrow in question, curious to know the answer.

"If you want to get technical," Freddie sighed. "We're separated."

"Sorry," Grace began. She knew there was a reason he never mentioned Sam, and she had just put her foot in it.

"Don't be," Freddie interrupted. "We've been separated for the best part of five years."

"Five years?" Grace couldn't help but be a little shocked. "Five years, and you haven't filled for divorce?"

"She just took off one day," Freddie explained. "I didn't know where to find her, where to serve the divorce papers. She didn't stay in Massachusetts, she didn't come back to Seattle.. I couldn't find her, and she never made any effort to find me."

Grace squeezed his shoulder for the second time, trying to comfort him, even just a little. He clearly still cared about Sam, seeing as he'd been in the same chair for the past few hours, staring at her.

Willing her too wake up, if you will.

Freddie held her hand, and tried to give her a weak smile. "I don't think I could have filled for divorce." He said quietly. "I'm still in love with her."

/

**Authors Note: **I really like future fic's, Seddie and Grey's Anatomy. This, is the product of all three obsessions. But anyway, another new story.

I was supposed to be taking a break from the internet because of my mocks etc., but I'm not good at listening to my own advice. I like too much (:

I learn any medical jargon I write from medical shows and Google, so please excuse me if any of it is just completely off the wall and makes no sense whatsoever. I'm afraid I'm fifteen, and certainly not a doctor.

So, I hope you enjoyed this, it aroused your interest and all that.. Reviews are love! :3


	2. Two

**Two.**

Freddie was at the nurses station, talking to Jane and waiting to get the labs for his patient back when alarms began to go off in the room where Sam was.

He rushed for the room, ignoring Jane's pleas to stop. Sam's pressure was dropping, and her heart was failing. He dropped her bed, and started compressions.

He was pumping her chest when Dr Fielding entered the room.

"Henderson, take over," She ordered, and another intern took over compressions from Freddie, albeit with some difficulty. Freddie was reluctant to put Sam's life in someone else's hands.

"Charge to 360." Freddie said, standing close to the bed.

"Quit hovering." Dr Fielding said. "We have this Benson."

Freddie opened his mouth to reply, but Fielding cut him off.

"Either you shut up, and back off, or you get the hell out of here." She snapped.

"Charged," A nurse said, and Fielding grabbed the paddles.

"Clear," She pressed them to Sam's chest, and the shock caused her petit frame to jump off the bed.

"No change."

"Charge again," Fielding ordered, and the process happened all over again. Freddie stood aside, his fist pressed to his mouth in an effort not give orders. He needed to be here, near Sam.

After a few minutes, Sam's monitor started to bleep, her heart rate returning to normal.

"She's stable,"

Freddie let out a breath, his own heart returning to normal.

The room began to clear, until only Freddie and Dr Fielding remained.

"You have patients," She said pointedly, and Freddie shook himself out of his daze.

"Y-yeah," He started to move away when Dr Fielding stopped him.

"You can't treat any patients like this," She said. "You're on labs for the rest of the day, you can do anything that doesn't involve patients. Got it?"

Freddie nodded. "Yes ma'am."

/

Freddie was sitting in Sam's room, doing paperwork. He was bored out of his mind, but Fielding wouldn't allow him to treat patients again.

He was about to go get some lunch when Sam started to move. She let out a choking sound, her hand clawing at the breathing tube that was down her throat.

"Hey, hey," He leapt from his seat, and rushed to her side. "I'll get that out. Breathe out on the count of three, okay?"

He took off the tape that held it in place, and started to count. "One, two, three."

The tube slid out easily, and Sam started coughing. Freddie yelled out the door, where Jane was standing at the nurses station.

"Get Dr Fielding!"

The dark haired nurse nodded, and Freddie turned back to the groggy Sam.

"Do you know where you are?" He asked.

"Seattle," Her voice was weak. "Why the hell are you here?"

"I live here." Freddie replied. "I work in this hospital Sam."

"Fan-fucking-tastic," Her voice was close to sarcastic. "Just what I wanted, getting treated by my ex-husband."

"We're still married," was all Freddie could say before Fielding entered the room.

"Get out." Sam said quietly. "I don't want you here."

Freddie snorted, but held his hands up in defeat when Dr Fielding shot him a look.

"Its not like you have anything to be pissed about," He said as he left. "You're the one who walked out on me."

Sam continued to stare at the ceiling, not reacting to Freddie's parting comment. She barely reacted to anything anyone said or did.

She didn't know if she could react.

/

Freddie slammed his locker shut, causing the entire row to rattle. He was finished his shift, and he hadn't been allowed back into see Sam.

She didn't want him there. That was rich, really. He should be the one who was annoyed with Sam, but no, she was pissed with him.

"Where the hell does she get off?" He said angrily to himself, slinging his bag across his chest. As he spoke, Grace walked into the interns changing room.

"Where does who get off?" Grace inquired, opening her locker. It was next to Freddie's, and as she opened it she noticed all her stuff had fallen out of place-n something that can only happen if the lockers are moved.

Freddie leaned against his locker, sighing. "Sam. She told me to get out of her hospital room today."

"Maybe she was embarrassed," Grace suggested.

"Of what?"

"She might feel vulnerable, you know because she's in hospital." Grace explained her theory.

"You know what?" Freddie's voice was hard, and cold. "That is exactly what she is like. The stubborn bitch."

Grace couldn't help but flinch slightly as Freddie called Sam a bitch.

He ran his hands through his hair. "I didn't mean that. I'm just sick of her trying to be the strong one. She's always been like this,"

"Some people are just like that." Grace pulled her scrubs over her head, and grabbed her t-shirt. "They don't like to let people know how they feel."

"We got married Grace," Freddie said quietly. "If you marry someone, you're supposed to leave them in."

"I'm not Sam," Grace tied the buttons of her jeans. "I can't answer your questions."

"I'm sorry," Freddie stood up properly, the metal of the locker had begun to dig into his back. "Sorry for dumping this all on you."

Grace flashed him a brilliant white smile. "What are friends for?"

Freddie returned the smile, and turned to leave.

"Wait a second," Grace said, shoving her feet into her shoes. "I'm almost ready, I'm your lift home remember?"

Freddie shook his head. "Nah, I'm okay. Leave without me."

"Aren't you going home?" Grace asked, checking her bag to make sure she had her wallet, and her pager.

"I am," Freddie nodded. "I just need the walk. Have to clear my head a bit,"

"Well, ring me if you need a ride." Grace said, and she began to walk to the entrance of the hospital, and the car park beyond.

Freddie on the other hand headed back where Sam's room was. It was a subconscious detour, because he didn't realize that was where he was going until he saw Jane sitting at the nurse station.

"You getting off?" Jane smiled at him.

"Yeah," Freddie nodded. "How is she? Sam I mean?"

"Stable," Jane nodded. "And that's all I can really say. She hasn't spoken to anyone since she woke up, she hasn't gotten any stronger, but she hasn't crashed again."

"That's good." Freddie nodded. "Thanks Jane,"

"No problem Freddie. Go home and get some rest," She said, fixing a few charts back into place.

"I will," Freddie started to leave, only pausing to look in at Sam. He didn't venture into her room, he figured he'd wait until tomorrow to try talk to her, but he looked at her.

Sam looked across at him, and for a brief second their eyes met. Even through the cuts, and bruises, Freddie could clearly see Sam's bright blue eyes, but they were lifeless.

She turned away from him, and Freddie lingered for a few seconds more before walking away. He left the bustling hospital, and into the dark, cool Seattle night.

He couldn't get Sam's eyes out of his head. They used to be full of laughter, excitement, and sparkle. What had happened to take that away from her?

/

**Author's Note: **Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! You're all awesome :3 I might get another update done tomorrow, but my mocks start on Monday, so updates will be scattered. If any.

But, I'll try! Reviews are love :3


	3. Three

**Three.**

"Drowning your sorrows in tequila isn't going to help," Grace said, walking into the sitting room. Freddie was sitting on the couch, swigging the golden substance straight from the bottle.

"Yes, it does." Freddie said, his words slurring a little.

"No, it doesn't." Grace sighed, reaching for the bottle.

"Leave me 'lone Grace." He mumbled, shifting away from her. "I don' want to think about everything."

"So drinking is going to solve everything?"

"Makes me forget."

"For a few hours Freddie," Grace said pointedly. "You're just going to wake up in the morning with a massive headache on top of everything."

"S'worth it." He replied, his fist tightly closed.

"Its not Freddie."

"Maybe not to you," Freddie said, pausing to take another drink. "But you are not in love with a she-demon who doesn't want to talk you anymore."

When Grace didn't reply, Freddie continued.

"A she-demon you're still married too, and can't bring yourself to divorce."

The front door of the house banged open, and Sarah entered the living room, dumping her bag on the floor and kicking off her shoes.

"Give here," She said to Freddie, taking the tequila. She downed a ridiculous amount of the alcohol, making a face as she swallowed it.

"Bad day?" Freddie looked at her.

"I lost five patients on code rotation," Sarah replied. "Five."

"I'm married to someone who refuses to speak to me." Freddie said. "My life sucks more."

"Five patients." Sarah repeated.

"Married to a she-demon." Freddie returned.

"Okay," Sarah nodded. "Your life sucks more. More tequila please,"

Freddie passed her the bottle.

"You two are unbelievable." Grace said.

Her roommates looked at her blankly.

"Drinking doesn't make anything better!" She almost yelled. "You seriously need to grow up,"

Grace stomped from the room, and Freddie and Sarah turned to look at each other.

"What did we do?" He asked.

"I have no idea." Sarah shrugged. "Vodka?"

Something in Freddie told him he should probably stop, but he nodded. Spending the rest of the night in a drunken haze sounded pretty nice.

Grace walked past the living room door, looking for her handbag. Freddie was sitting, waiting for Sarah to return, and he was looking at his hands.

At something in his hands, actually. A platinum wedding band. He slipped it on his finger, and off, and back on, before finally stuffing it back in his pocket when Sarah returned with a new bottle.

/

"Ugh."

Freddie's head was banging, with one of the worst headaches he'd ever had. Possibly the worst.

Grace looked at him, hanging her jacket up in her locker.

"Don't say it," He groaned, his head leaning against the cool metal.

"Say what?"

"I told you so," Freddie replied. "I know you want to."

"I knew I was right before you decided to kill half your brain cells and get completely smashed." She replied, a tinge of coldness in her voice. "I don't need to say I told you so."

With that, she left the locker room, and headed to where she was supposed to meet Dr Fielding.

"I want you too take over Sam Benson's case," Fielding said. "I have four surgeries today,"

Grace nodded, and took the chart from her boss. She began to walk to the room where Sam was lying, hooked up to dozens of machines.

"How's the pain?" She asked the blonde woman, checking her vitals.

"I feel like I've been run over by a bus." She replied. "But not as bad as yesterday,"

Grace nodded. "Can you lift your hands for me?"

Sam lifted her hands in front of her, wincing slightly as the movement put pressure on one of the many injuries she had.

As Grace watched, she noticed that Sam was wearing a platinum ring, the exact same as the one Freddie had the previous night- her wedding ring.

Sam dropped her hands to her sides, clenching her fingers tightly, hiding the ring. Grace didn't know if she was ashamed, or embarrassed, but she didn't want to know either way.

She was not going to get involved. This, this was none of her business.

"What's he done now?" Sam inquired quietly.

Grace followed her gaze, and saw that she was looking at Freddie, who was getting chewed out by Dr Fielding.

"Its probably something to do with the fact he's completely hung-over." She replied, her tone just as quiet as Sam's. Looking at her watch, she continued. "The police are coming into speak to you in an hour or so."

"The police?"

Grace nodded. "We have to report any gun shot wounds to them, it's the law."

"And," Sam looked at the doctor carefully. "I have to speak to them."

"Yes," Grace couldn't hide the confusion in her voice. "Sam, you have injuries that can only be inflicted through assault."

A somewhat tense silence fell over the two women, until Grace snapped the chart back onto the foot of Sam's bed, and turned to leave. She have the blonde woman a reassuring smile, but only got a blank expression in return.

"Okay," Grace said to herself, determined not to judge. She didn't know what Sam had gone through, and until she did she wasn't going to put her blank expressions down to blatant rudeness.

Her pager went off, and Grace took off at something close to a run; she was an intern, and she did not need to get on the bad side of her resident, who wanted her on the other side of the building ASAP.

/

Freddie looked at Sam's room, where she lay looking at two cops. They had arrived twenty minutes ago, and from what he could tell Sam still hadn't spoken to them.

Her face was a mask of pain, and something close to fear, and it killed Freddie to just watch her like that. She was going to have to live through whatever had caused her horrific injuries all over again, alone.

And that, that did it for Freddie.

He stalked to her room, and opened the door with a swish.

"You can't be-" One of the cops began.

"I'm her husband," Freddie replied. "I have every right to be here."

He walked to Sam's side, much to her surprise.

"I know you don't want me here," Freddie whispered to her quietly. "But I'm not leaving, because you can't do this alone."

Sam opened her mouth to speak when Freddie interrupted her again.

"You don't have to be the strong one all the time." He replied, and he took her hand in his, barely registering the fact she was wearing a wedding ring. He mind was more on the fact that she didn't pull away from him.

In fact, she held on tightly.

"Are you ready?" One of the officer's asked.

Sam nodded slowly. "Yes."

Freddie couldn't help but brace himself for what she was about to say- whatever had happened, it couldn't have been good, or the slightest bit nice.

/

**Author's Note: **Thanks for the awesome reviews, alerts, everything. It's making me want to write all the time again, but alas the mocks are starting tomorrow.

Its both English papers, so no problems there, but there is two full weeks of exams D: I wont be able to update until next week, so wish me luck! (:

Reviews are love :3


	4. Four

**Four.**

"There's nothing to tell." Sam said. "I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time,"

The cops exchanged looks, looks that clearly said they didn't believe her.

Freddie couldn't help but feel angry. "Can we have a second please?" He said to the two officers, and they nodded.

"You're lying," Freddie turned on her, Sam's only response was to simply stare blankly back at him.

"I'm not."

"Yeah, you are." He cut her off before she could continue to deny the fact she was lying. "Did you get involved in a gang?"

"W-what?" Sam snorted slightly "What the hell are you talking about?"

"So you didn't join a gang?"

"No," Sam shook her head. "I did not join a gang Benson."

"So, if you tell the cops what happened, no ones going to come to the hospital with a gun and shoot you in the head?"

Sam's jaw almost hit the floor. "Christ Freddie. Of course not,"

"Then why the hell wont you tell the cops what happened?" He inquired, staring at her square in the eyes. "Are you trying to prove something?"

"Like what?"

"Maybe you don't want to tell the cops what happened because you think it'll make you seem weak. Like you can't deal with this on your own,"

Sam's silence was what told Freddie he was right.

"Well, newsflash Sam, the world doesn't revolve around you." Freddie said, and there was something in his voice was close to disgust. "Whoever did this too you, they could do it again. Could you live with that on your conscience? That someone else got hurt because you were too proud to tell the cops what happened to you?"

Again, silence.

"You need to grow up Sam." He said.

"Grow up and get boring like you?" Sam looked him up and down. "You've been at the hospital everyday since I got here. Is work the only thing you have?"

"Aside from the fact I'm actually trying to have a career in medicine," Freddie said. "I need to work. Because I've got rent, and insurance, and a car to run. I have to buy food, and clothes, and generally have to support myself. See, that's what adults do Sam, they take care of themselves."

"I can take care of myself,"

"So is that why you turn up at Carly's every once in a while, completely broke?" Freddie interrupted.

"She told you?"

"She didn't need too. I went to visit her a couple of months ago and I saw your bag there," He replied. "So, no Sam. Clearly you can't take care of yourself. And on me not having much in my life?"

Sam didn't want to hear this.

"I don't have an awful lot. I have this hospital, and I have my friends." Freddie answered. "But I seem to remember my wife, the so called love of my life, and the person who was apparently my best friend leaving in the middle of the night, and not bothering to say goodbye."

"I had my reasons."

"Well, if you want to tell me, go ahead!" Freddie's voice was close to a yell, and he knew that people were staring into the room.

Sam looked away, her eyes locked on one of the monitors hooked up to her.

"I thought so." Freddie said. "So, maybe you're not ready to tell me why you walked out. But for gods sake Sam, grow up enough to tell the damn cops who did this to you."

The doors swished open, and Dr Fielding walked in.

"Are you upsetting my patient Benson?" She demanded.

"No," Sam replied for him. "He's not. I'm ready to talk to the police now,"

Freddie, satisfied he'd done his bit turned to leave.

"Freddie?"

Sam's voice sounded so fragile, so forlorn that he had to turn around.

"Could you," Sam because, pausing to take a breath. "Could you stay please?"

Freddie didn't even have to think, he nodded and sat on the edge of Sam's bed. He felt her small hand reach for his, and he willingly held it tightly.

"I was sleeping in the park," Sam said quietly. "I didn't have anywhere to stay, so I just decided to stay in the park until I figured out what to do. It was maybe three in the morning when I dozed off,"

The two officers were listening intently.

"And when I woke up there was some guy leaning over me," Sam said. "He was trying to get a hold of my pants, but I tried to fight him off. I hit him in the face a few times, and I'm pretty sure I kneed him pretty hard,"

Freddie had to hide a smile. Of course she'd hit him where it hurt the most.

"He got pissed, shot me, grabbed my bag and ran off." Sam finished quietly. While she had told them what happened in as few words as possible, it obviously didn't happen that quickly.

And she wouldn't forget it any time soon either.

"Can you remember what he looked like?" One of the officers asked.

"It was dark," Sam shook her head, and paused. What Freddie had said to her was ringing in her head. "But he was tall. Six foot tall maybe,"

Her grip on Freddie's hand tightened.

"His face," She paused for breath. "His face was disfigured."

"In what way?"

"It was all pock-marked," Sam said. "And puckered. As if it had been burned,"

She looked at the two officers. "That's all I remember, sorry."

"You've been very helpful," The officers nodded, and after a few seconds of dithering about, they left the room.

Freddie was about to speak to Sam when she turned away, pulling her hand from his. He sighed.

That's how it was with Sam. You started to get through, get past the outer layers of toughness and refusal to let people in, and she pulled away. She was impossible, Sam was impossible.

/

"Freddie?" Jane said to the dark haired man as he walked down the hallway, having just finished his lunch break. "There's a hysterical woman asking for you,"

Freddie looked at her, his expression questioning.

"I hope you aren't a bigamist," Jane continued. "Because I think that you having two wives would be a little more complicated to explain," She looked at him with a grin. "Not to mention illegal."

He rolled his eyes. "Very funny Jane. I think you missed your calling in comedy,"

"The urge to be surrounded by sick people and unappreciative doctor's for the rest of my life was too overwhelming," Jane replied, and pointed him to the doors. "Deal with the hysterical woman Freddie. She's scaring everyone in the waiting room,"

Freddie entered the waiting area, and was greeted immediately by the sight of a pacing Carly. Just what he needed.

He didn't have a chance to take a breath before she started to speak, her voice close to a shriek.

"This is my fault!" Carly began. "I, I told her that she had to face her problems, that she had to talk to you, and that she wasn't allowed to set foot inside my house until she faced up to all the hurt she's caused, and its my fault she didn't have anywhere to stay, if I hadn't been such a bitch she would have been in my house, and she would have been safe, and oh god Freddie I'm a terrible person-"

_Christ, _Freddie thought to himself. _Does she ever need to breathe?_

"Carly," He interrupted. "Shut up."

Carly stopped talking, and looked at him in shock. "S-shut up?"

"Yeah, shut up." Freddie confirmed. "For one, you're starting to freak out everyone in the waiting area, and they all probably have more than enough on their minds, and having to listen to the crazy screaming girl on top of it all? I don't think they appreciate it, to be honest."

Carly flushed a deep crimson, looking around the waiting area in embarrassment.

"And secondly, you're starting to piss my boss off." Freddie continued. "And when my boss is pissed with me, having to do more rectal exams than any one human should ever have to suffer through usually follows."

"I'm sorry," Carly blanched at the thought of a rectal exam. "I'm just worried Freddie. She was shot for gods sake,"

"Well imagine my shock when my wife, who I haven't seen in five years turns up at the hospital I work in. That was hard to explain,"

Carly gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "I kind of forgot that this is weirder for you than it is for me,"

"You've seen her before." Freddie said quietly. "I mean, you've seen her a couple of times over the past few years. Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"She made me promise," Carly said sadly, her voice apologetic. "She made me promise not to tell you. She thought it would be better for you if you moved on,"

"Like that actually happened." Freddie said, and his pager bleeped loudly. "Look, I have to go Carly,"

"Can I see her?" Carly asked suddenly as Freddie turned to leave.

He shook his head. "Visiting hours are over Carls, but she's doing okay."

"Call me, if anything happens." She said, nodding. "Oh, and Freddie?"

He turned around to look at her. Carly was looking at him, searching his face intently.

"This is going to sound awful," She began. "But things happen for a reason. Maybe Sam getting shot happened for a reason. Maybe, maybe this is your second chance together."

/

**Author's Note: **Yay, another chapter finally! Sorry for the wait, but like I said, I'm doing my mocks at the moment. The first week went pretty well actually, maths was horrifically hard but that was always going to be the case!

I'm finished my mocks Thursday, so I should be back to a somewhat more frequent updating schedule then!

I hope you liked this chapter, and as always, reviews are love :3


	5. Five

**Five.**

"So," Sarah began through a mouthful of disgusting hospital food. "Did you have the whole big white wedding?"

Freddie swallowed slowly before he spoke. "No."

"Can you slow down a second, I need a few minutes to take all that detail in." Sarah said sarcastically.

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know," Sarah said. "What kind of wedding you had?"

"I was nineteen years old," Freddie began. "It was the summer after the first year of college, Sam and I went to Vegas on vacation and got married."

He stood up, grabbing his tray. "Nothing much to tell, really."

With that, Freddie walked from the cafeteria.

"That boy is a well of information," Sarah mumbled to herself, and was about to get started on her muffin when her pager bleeper. Sighing, she stood up.

The joys of being an intern. You were at everyone else's beck and call twenty four seven.

/

Freddie had just finished his rounds, and in the spare few seconds he had, his mind turned to Sam. It felt like a few hours had passed since her arrival in the hospital, but in reality it had been almost three weeks since she was admitted to the hospital.

"Benson," Dr Fielding came up behind him. "We're going to be discharging your wife soon."

Fielding had taken to referring to Sam as his wife, with the usual cold indifference that the woman always spoke with. He had to wonder how she had done so well in the medical profession- countless people had told him compassion was necessary to be a good doctor.

"Really?" His voice sounded shocked. "This soon?"

Dr Fielding had also taken to ignoring Freddie's disregard for the fact she was an attending when it came to matters regarding Sam, something which was probably very good in the long run.

"She's making a remarkable recovery," Dr Fielding replied. "Physically, at least."

And with that simple sentence, the attending was talking about the fact that Sam had barely spoken two words to anyone in the hospital since her arrival.

"You need to organize somewhere for her to stay," Dr Fielding said bluntly. "She might be well enough to leave the hospital, but not well enough to live alone."

"Yes ma'am," Freddie nodded.

Dr Fielding had already started to walk away, and Freddie checked his watch. Grace was on a different shift to him, and she and Sarah should be in the locker rooms.

Its not like he wasn't doing his job by setting off for the locker room at top speed- Dr Fielding had told him to find somewhere for Sam to stay after all.

"Grace," He was somewhat breathless as he entered the locker room, where Grace was pulling her scrubs over her head, talking to an already dressed for work Sarah.

"Oh, hey Freddie." Grace flashed him one of her brilliant white smiles. "What's up?"

"I was wondering," He began, deciding to ask her straight out. Grace was his best friend after all. "Sam's being discharged this week, and she doesn't have anywhere to go. Can she stay at the house, until she's better?"

"There's no spare rooms," Sarah interrupted, earning herself a look from Grace.

"She can stay in my room," Freddie said. "I mean, we are kind of married. There isn't really any boundaries left to break there,"

He looked at Grace pleadingly. "Please Grace?"

Grace nodded. "Of course Freddie."

Freddie gave her a tight hug. "Thanks Grace, you're a star. I'd better go before Fielding realizes I'm not where I'm supposed to be."

With that, he left the room, leaving Sarah and Grace alone.

"Are you seriously okay with this?" Sarah raised a eyebrow. "I was trying to be helpful, telling him there was no room for another person in the house."

"I'm fine," Grace nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, I don't know." Sarah said in a sarcastic tone. "Maybe because of the fact you've been in love with the guy since we started here?"

Grace looked a bit shocked as Sarah blurted out that rather confidential information so anyone could hear.

"He doesn't feel the same," Grace replied quickly, covering her hurt. "He's never going to Sarah, not when he's still in love with Sam. And married to her, actually."

Sarah raised her hands in defeat. "Okay, if you can deal with the guy you love moving another girl into the house, I'm more than happy to have her move in."

"Good," Grace nodded, her tone sounding a little bit too happy. "We should be welcoming. And where better to recover than in a house full of doctors?"

"Interns," Sarah grinned. "As Fielding so nicely put it at the start of everything, we're like babies. We've got a lot to learn,"

Grace had to laughed, and she slammed her locker closed. Taking a second to compose herself, she turned to Sarah and spoke.

"We should go," She said. "I don't think Dr Fielding has forgiven us for being late the last time,"

Sarah groaned. "That was a month ago!" She complained.

Despite her complaining, she followed Grace out of the room, and onto their shift.

/

Freddie had been into see Sam everyday, although after the first time she'd yelled at him to, 'Go the fuck away or else,' it had mostly been while she was sleeping.

"You never could take a hint," Sam sighed as she noticed him walk into the room.

"You're being discharged," He simply said.

"Great. Now, go away."

"No," Freddie shook his head. "Because once you're discharged, you're coming to stay with me."

Sam snorted. "Like hell I am."

"Actually, you are." Freddie stayed calm. "You aren't well enough to go off wandering the country again, so you're staying with me."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" She inquired suddenly.

"I'm being a decent human being," He shrugged, and Sam winced at the hidden jibe. She knew she had been a bitch to him, but he had this uncanny ability to drop it into every conversation- whether or not he realised it.

"Seriously," Sam rolled her eyes. "You shouldn't be, be so nice to me."

"I married you for a reason Sam." Freddie said simply. "And, yeah, you left me, and refuse to tell me why, but the reason still stands."

Sam spoke again, her voice quiet. "I don't have any clothes."

Freddie shifted from left to right, a flush rising in his cheeks. "I, uh. I kept some of your clothes, I can bring them to the hospital."

Sam nodded, and after a few seconds silence, Freddie spoke again.

"I have to get back to work, but I'll bring the clothes and everything in the morning." He turned to leave the room, and he had one foot out the door before Sam found the courage to speak.

"Thank you."

"No problem," Freddie smiled. Thank you, that was something he needed to hear from Sam.

The room became deathly silent after Freddie left, and Sam's gaze lingered on the now closed doorway. Out of everything that had just happened, the only thing she was concentrating on was the fact Freddie had kept some of her clothes.

She tried to stop herself, but she couldn't hide the small smile that crept across her face, her first real smile for what felt like forever.

He had kept some of her clothes.

**/**

**Authors Note: **Hello again! Sorry for the delay, but after I finished my mocks on Thursday, I went to the cinema, out with my friends.. All the 'yay we survived the mocks' stuff! Plus, I've been dying sick and watching rom-com's and Battlestar Galactica.. Y'know, as you do!

But, now that I am finished my mocks, I should have more time to write. I did upload a new iCarly story, its called 'Under The Covers' and I would really love if you got the chance to check it out!

On a slightly random note, I'd quite like to marry Gerard Butler. His awesomeness in the Bounty Hunter totally makes up for the atrocity that is P.S I Love You.. (:

I'm going to stop rambling. Reviews are love :3


	6. Six

**Six.**

Freddie had gone home as soon as his shift finished, got an hour or two of restless sleep before getting up at eight am and getting ready to go to the hospital.

He really did spent the majority of his time in that building.

Reaching into the bottom of his wardrobe, he pulled out a cardboard box. He didn't have it marked in any way, for all intensive purposes it was simply a cardboard box.

But, it wasn't. Once he opened the flaps, everything about his life that he kept from his friends was inside. Photos, videos, letters, gifts- everything related to Sam was in this box.

Not stopping to look at anything, because he knew it would send him into a trip down memory lane that could last hours, he rooted around at the bottom.

After a few seconds, he found what he was looking for. A grey jumper, emblazoned with 'San Diego Padres.' They'd both gone to college in San Diego, and Sam had enthusiastically bought the jumper in their first week there.

It was about six times too big for her, and Freddie loved it on her.

The only pair of pants belonging to Sam he had were a pair of green tracksuit pants, splattered with paint. Sam had worn them when they were decorating their apartment, they were her favourite pair of tracksuit bottoms and had gotten ruined that day.

Freddie kept them because of the good memories attached to them.

He grabbed an old Cuttlefish t-shirt of Sam's, and put all three items in a bag. Realising he didn't have any shoes for Sam, he grabbed a pair of his own sneakers, and a very thick pair of socks.

Sam had pretty small feet, so they were going to be far too big on her.

Pulling his grey coat on, and slinging his leather messenger bag over his shoulder, Freddie grabbed the bag of clothes, his keys and left Grace's crumbling, yet comfortingly homely house.

He had met Grace on the first day, along with Sarah and after a week at the hospital he and Sarah had moved into Grace's too big for one person house. It wasn't until their first Christmas in Seattle that Niall moved in, after his apartment block burned down.

Grace was his best friend, and despite the fact she generally threw sarcastic comments and nicknames at him, Sarah was his best friend too.

It was funny, really, how he'd had two girl best friends growing up, and now, as an adult, two of his closest friends were women.

The house was barely ten minutes walk from the hospital, so he was there in no time. Instead of heading straight for the locker room, like he usually did, he went up to the floor where Sam's room was.

"Morning," Freddie greeted quietly, entering the room.

"Morning," Sam returned, just as quietly.

"I uh, have the clothes." He held up the bag, feeling strangely nervous. He set them down on the bed, and turned to leave the room.

"Freddie," Sam called after him. "Can you, I mean can you help me?"

It dawned on Freddie then that of course she wouldn't be able to get dressed by herself. She had been shot, and had major surgery. And Freddie called himself a doctor.

He didn't reply, he simply took a few large strides and returned to Sam's side. Gently, he un-knotted the ribbons of the hospital gown, and Sam pulled it down off her shoulders with some difficulty.

As Freddie took the t-shirt of the bag, he couldn't help but look at Sam. Her stomach wasn't the creamy white expanse that he used to see so often, it was a mess of bandages and healing cuts.

"Hands up," Freddie tried to hid a grin. It felt like he was dressing a child. Sam obligingly lifted her arms, wincing in pain as she did so. It took a few minutes, but eventually Sam got the t-shirt on without too much pain being caused.

Freddie caught her smiling as he grabbed the San Diego Padres jersey, and he guessed she knew exactly why he had kept it.

"I'm good from here," Sam began.

"Okay, I'll sign the discharge papers. I'll be back in a second," Freddie passed her the pants, and left the room for the nurses station where Sam's discharge papers were. Dr Fielding was at the station, and was staring him down as he approached.

"Morning ma'am," Freddie nodded, grabbing a pen and writing his signature in his loopy handwriting at the end of the page.

Dr Fielding didn't say anything, and even forced herself to bite back a 'don't kill my patient.' It would be a bit inconsiderate, and probably unnecessary seeing as her intern was married to the girl.

Freddie handed the papers back to Jane, and returned to the room where he expected Sam to be ready.

"I uh," She began, her voice shaky. "It hurts to much to bend over and put on the shoes."

"Don't worry," Freddie grabbed the shoes and socks, looking up at Sam with a small grin. "I'm a dab hand at tying laces, did I ever tell you?"

"I guess you learnt a lot in the past few years," Sam returned the smile.

For a spilt second, they were, well, they were **them **again. They were the Sam and Freddie that were madly in love, the Sam and Freddie who were going to be together forever.

They were best friends again, but only for a split second. Because, as soon as the retort slipped from her lips, the grin was wiped from Sam's face, and she returned her gaze to the wall above Freddie's head.

Holding back a sigh, Freddie went back to focusing his full attention on tying perfectly symmetrical bows in the laces of the sneakers he'd brought for Sam.

"Ready?" He inquired, slinging his bag across his chest.

Sam nodded, standing up, one hand on the bed for support. She let go of the bed, and wobbled slightly, her small hand shooting out to catch the bed again.

"Here," Freddie held out a hand.

Sam looked at it warily.

"I'm just helping Sam," He said, keeping his hand hovering in the air between them.

She reached out, and slipped her hand into his after another seconds pause. It was funny, how perfectly their hands fit together. How perfectly their hands had always fitted together.

He led her out of the room, well aware that the eyes of everyone he worked with, including the interns was on him, leading a wife none of them knew about until a few weeks ago out of the hospital.

It might have only been a short walk to the house, but one look at Sam told him that she wasn't strong enough to walk the whole way back. Freddie hailed down a taxi instead, and they sat in silence for the few minutes it took to get to the house.

"This is my home sweet home," Freddie said, smiling just a little as he led Sam slowly up the front steps, and into the house. As always, it was immaculately clean.

Grace was a clean freak, and if he was being honest, Freddie could be a little OCD at times. As a result, the house was always neat and tidy, even though Sarah and Niall were the messiest people you'd ever met.

Ever.

It took them longer than it should to get upstairs, and Freddie pointed out the bathroom, and who's bedroom was who's as they walked down the hallway.

"And this, is my room." He opened the door, and revealed his immaculate, organised room.

Sam looked around with interest. The colour scheme clearly wasn't Freddie's choice, it was a dull brown, not the fresh blue, or cream Freddie had always favoured. The bed was covered with a thick red duvet, and the furniture was all a light wood.

One wall had photos hanging on it, and there was a 'San Diego Padres' flag, as well as the school flag from the university Freddie had went to, UC San Diego.

Sam recognised herself in a few of the photos, but they were mostly photos from iCarly, so she and Freddie were never in them together, alone at least.

"My iPod and stuff are in here," Freddie tapped a drawer. "And that box has some more of your stuff in it."

Sam nodded, sitting on the bed, causing it to creak gently.

"I have to go to the grocery store," Freddie said apologetically. "And I need to go the pharmacy for your meds. You'll be fine here right?"

"Yeah," Sam kicked off the oversized shoes with some difficulty. "I'll be fine."

"Well, there's a phone on the locker, and Grace and Sarah are finished work soon. All of their numbers are in the phone anyway, so if you need anything-"

"I'm not five." Sam interrupted. "I'll be fine."

Freddie nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Do you want anything from the store?"

Sam shook her head. "No thanks."

There was an awkward silence, a sort of stare off between the two of them before Freddie hurriedly left.

Sam looked around the room for a few minutes, drinking it all in, before deciding that listening to music was a better option. She pulled open the drawer Freddie had pointed out earlier, and reached in.

What she pulled out wasn't an iPod however, it was a photo frame. Their wedding photo in fact. It was taken in the glaring July sun of Las Vegas by their witness, a really nice woman called Mary.

Sam was wearing a short white summer dress she had found in a shop in Las Vegas, and Freddie was wearing a tux he'd gotten from the chapel owners. They looked blissfully happy, looking forward to forever together, not knowing just how hard things were going to get.

And god, Sam wished that she still felt like that. That she and Freddie were still blissfully happy, and had forever to look forward to. She didn't know what she and Freddie had anymore, not really.

Another root in the drawer gave Sam another album of photos from Las Vegas, the business card of the hotel they'd stayed in, a congratulations card from their witness Mary- who worked for the chapel where they'd been married.

A ton of wedding paraphernalia, but the one thing Sam couldn't find was his wedding ring. Freddie hadn't been wearing it, she'd seen and held his hand enough times over the past hour or so to know that much.

He hadn't, he hadn't gotten rid of it? Freddie wouldn't get rid of their wedding ring, would he?

/

**Author's Note: **I've been out of school sick the past few days, so by all rights I should have had this up Monday morning. I did upload my first fiction press story, and that's my excuse- I've been writing that a lot. A lot.

Plus, my internet hates me. Its been acting weird all afternoon..

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and as always reviews are love! :3


	7. Seven

**Seven.**

Freddie looked at the cart in front of him, scanning the items contained in it, comparing them with the list that he had taken from the fridge.

When they had first moved in together, Grace had the bright idea of putting a magnetic notepad on the fridge door. If you needed something, you wrote it down, and whoever was going to the grocery store would take the list.

It worked, although Freddie hated when a request for tampons would pop up on the list, though he'd gotten over the mortification of buying tampons after the first few times.

Freddie grabbed a packet of fat cakes as a last minute thought, and in an effort to cheer Sam up a little.

He joined one of the queues, all of them were long enough. It was a busy afternoon.

Freddie slipped his hand into his pocket absentmindedly, his fingers clenching around the platinum wedding ring he always had with him. He inched his cart forward, never letting go of the ring as he did so.

"Freddie!" a familiar voice squealed. "Oh my gosh, Doctor Freddie Benson, is that you?"

He'd recognise that high pitched squeak anywhere. It was Tamara Jonson, the only girlfriend Freddie had since he and Sam separated- or Sam left him, whichever you preferred.

The relationship lasted about a month before Freddie realized Tamara was not only the most annoying person in the world, she was dating him simply because he was going to be a doctor someday.

He didn't know she had moved back to Seattle, they had met in San Diego, he'd assumed, and well hoped she had stayed there.

"Tamara," Freddie forced a smile. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Tamara was standing uncomfortably close. "I was thinking, we should, rekindle what we had. It was a special you know,"

Freddie had to hold back a snort. So special that she didn't know anything about him?

"I'm uh," He had an idea. Slipping the ring on his finger, he took his hand out of his pocket, and held it up. "I'm married now."

It wasn't technically a lie.

"Oh," Tamara's face fell. "Okay then. Um, take care of yourself."

She practically ran away, and Freddie had to grin. The power of the ring was amazing.

He was still grinning like an idiot when he paid the cashier, and gathered up the bags of groceries.

Freddie hardly used his car anymore, but he loved to drive it when he did. He'd got it the summer before he'd gone to college, and he'd kept it ever since. It had too many good memories attached to it, mostly of him and Sam, and their drives to and from Seattle.

The good memories with Sam nearly always balanced out the bad.

He shifted the car into gear, and pulled out of the supermarket car park. It was a nice drive back to the house, along the highway that rang alongside the water. Seattle was surrounded by three sides by water, and it was a pretty awesome place to live.

While he'd loved San Diego, Freddie always knew he would come back to Seattle. It was home after all.

Freddie had just pulled into the driveway when his pager bleeped. He was needed back at the hospital.

Grabbing the bags, he slammed his way into the house, and dumped the groceries on the table. Quickly putting stuff like milk into the fridge, he ran up the stairs, and burst into his room.

Sam was curled up on his bed, fast asleep. His iPod headphone's were in her ears, and the music was playing gently. If he had taken the time to look at her closely, he'd have noticed that her arms were tightly wrapped around the framed photo of their wedding day- but Freddie wasn't paying close attention.

He bit the cap off one of the pens that littered his bedside locker, and scribbled a quick note on one of the sticky pad's.

_I have to go back to the hospital, but I shouldn't be too long. I bought these to cheer you up (: There's more food in the kitchen, but try not too move around too much. There's movies and stuff on my laptop, I'll leave it on the bed for you._

He paused. Was he supposed to write love Freddie? From Freddie?

Freddie settled for simply signing his name, and stuck the note to the packet of fat cakes he'd bought for Sam, setting them down on the locker.

His pager bleeped again, and Freddie took off at a run for his car. It was faster to drive to the hospital, and he did not need Dr Fielding on his back.

Freddie completely forgot he was still wearing his wedding ring. He didn't remember until Grace pointed it out as they got ready to go out onto the pit, ready to deal with dozens of trauma cases from a bus crash that had happened that afternoon.

"You should probably take that off," Grace commented.

"Oh, yeah, thanks." Freddie slipped the ring off, and put it into the chest pocket of his scrubs, patting it to make sure it had stayed there.

He patted the pocket a few more times in the six hours he spent on the floor, treating dozens of horribly injured patients.

Maybe he was just overly tired, but Freddie, whether it was consciously or subconsciously, put the platinum band back on as he got ready to go home.

It wasn't unusual for him to spend days off back in the ER, but the day had really dragged for some reason.

"Do you need a lift?" Grace called as Freddie moved to leave the locker room.

Freddie shook his head. "No, I'm fine. I have my own car,"

Grace nodded, and watched him leave.

"Why is he wearing his wedding ring?" Sarah inquired, buttoning up her shirt.

Grace shrugged, she was already completely dressed and ready to go home. "He was when he arrived at the hospital."

"You don't think-" Sarah began before Grace cut her off.

"I doubt they made up, not this soon. She just got out of hospital, and from what Freddie says, they have a lot to talk about before they an even be friends again, never mind-"

This time it was Sarah's turn to interrupt.

"Lover's," She said in a sing song voice as they left the locker room. "Are you seriously okay with this?"

"Can you stop asking me that?" Grace sighed. By this stage, they were in the car and on the way home.

"I'm just being the concerned best friend here," Sarah raised her hands in surrender. "Are we going for a drink, or.."

"I'm really tired," Grace shook her head. "I'm going to go home, but do you want me to drop you at the bar?"

Sarah glanced at her watch. "Mm.. Yeah, a few of the other interns are going to be there tonight. Do you mind?"

"No," Grace shook her head, stifling a yawn. "Its no problem."

She switched her indicator on, and changed lanes, bringing them to the local bar where a huge majority of the hospital staff hung out, instead of the warm comforts of home.

"Thanks Grace," Sarah said, waving at the window before heading into the bar.

Grace backed out of the car park, and set off home again. It had been a weird few weeks, with Sam turning up out of the blue, and the while set of events that were set into motion because of it.

It made Grace realize that there was a whole different side to Freddie she didn't know, all these experiences, the heartbreak he was never going to open up to her about.

She would never know him the way Sam knew Freddie.

So, maybe she wasn't completely okay with Sam living in her house, but Grace knew Freddie didn't feel the same way about her. She just had to suck it up, and get on with it.

Grace switched off the car engine, and walked into the house. She had inherited it from her grandmother, and her intention always was to sell the place, until she found out she was doing her internship in Seattle.

Now, it was home and she couldn't imagine ever getting rid of it. A quick look in the fridge told her that Freddie had done the grocery shopping, and she happily found the tub of Ben and Jerry's she had requested.

Grabbing two spoons from the drawer, she pushed it closed with her hip, and made her way upstairs.

Grace knocked gently on Freddie's bedroom door, and when there was no answer, she let herself in quietly. There was a reason he didn't answer- he was fast asleep.

Sam was curled up on the right side of the bed, Freddie's shockingly red duvet pulled up around her chin. Freddie was sprawled on the left side, wearing the dark blue tracksuit bottoms and US San Diego t-shirt he slept in quite a lot.

He only had a bit of blanket, covering his feet, but he was dead to the world, snoring gently.

Grace felt a surge of jealously rise in her throat, and let the room. She was intruding, at least she felt she was. Returning to her empty bedroom, she kicked off her shoes and sat on the bed.

With two spoons in her hand, and no one to share the ice cream with, Grace felt incredibly lonely. She was always the single one, the girl everyone saw as a friend- and she hated it.

She hated being alone.

/

**Author's Note: **I know I'm not giving much insight in Sam and Freddie's past, but it will come, I promise. I wanted to introduce Grace a little more in the chapter, and in the not so distant future you'll find out why!

I watched Sweet Home Alabama last night again, (romantic comedies win over sleep all the time, who needs to be refreshed and ready for school?), and its literally the best movie in the universe. Plus, I kind of think Sam and Freddie are like Jake and Melanie.. Just a little bit at least! I'm not the only one, am I?

Thanks for the reviews, alerts, everything guys. You're all awesome, seriously!

As always, reviews are love and a great motivator :3


	8. Eight

**Eight.**

Grace knocked on Freddie's bedroom door gently, and entered as she heard Sam say come in.

"Morning," Grace greeted. "Freddie's on the early shift today, but I'm off so I'm here if I need anything."

"A change of scenery?" Sam looked at Grace hopefully. "Freddie's room can only be interesting for so long."

"Well.." Grace looked at the blonde haired woman carefully. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Sam replied. "I've been better, but I've been worse too."

"It is my turn to go the grocery store," Grace said thoughtfully. It had been over a month since Sam's surgery, she should be fine to go outside. For a quick trip, at least.

"Please?" Sam looked so hopeful that Grace couldn't refuse. She nodded, and Sam moved to get up.

She was moving a lot more easily than she had a few days previously, Sam was just a bit stiff that was all.

"I'll go get changed then," Grace said, looking down at her track pants and vest top. She wasn't anyway presentable, wearing no make up and her light brown hair scraped into a high ponytail, pieces escaping and flying everywhere.

She had just planned to stay at home, do a bit of cleaning, catch up on some TV maybe.

Sam nodded, and looked around for her own clothes. It seemed Freddie had kept a lot more of her stuff than he'd first let on. He had come back from the hospital one afternoon, bearing cardboard boxes.

Turns out he had put most of their stuff into storage when he came back Seattle, not ready to throw it out, but not able to keep it all out on display either.

It didn't really matter than most of the clothes had been purchased when she was barely twenty five, rather than the twenty nine years she now held to her name. She wasn't a teenager anymore, and had stopped growing a long time ago.

Still not quite able to bend over for long periods of time to tie laces, Sam opted to shove her odd socks into a pair of slip on runners.

Her phone had been stolen, along with her wallet, iPod, everything she owned really, so she left Freddie's room with her hands hanging.

"Ready?" Grace smiled brightly at Sam.

It was only now, when they were out Freddie's room that Sam got a proper look at Grace, and realized just how much the doctor looked like Carly. Yeah, their hair colour was different, but she had the same heart shaped face that Sam associated with Carly.

"Yeah," Sam replied, and as they walked downstairs, she drank in her surroundings. She had been to hyped up on pain killers to take in the house properly on her arrival, and the only reason she'd left Freddie's room for the past week was too pee.

It was a nice house, all beige and cream, and wood. While it was nice, it made her long for the San Diego apartment she'd ran from all those years ago, that was all leather, glass, chrome and abstract paintings.

An apartment that Freddie had probably sold. It made her uncomfortable to think that someone else was living in their home.

What used to be their home, at least.

"So," Grace tried to initiate conversation.

"So," Sam mimicked. "How long have you know Freddie?"

"Since we started our internship," Grace replied. "He's a fantastic doctor."

"I always knew he would be," Sam gave a small smile.

"Did Freddie always want to be a doctor then?" Grace inquired.

Sam shook her head, remembering the days of iCarly. "He wanted to be a camera man for a long time, actually. Did you ever hear of iCarly?"

Grace nodded slowly. "Yeah, why- Oh! You two are the Sam and Freddie from iCarly, right? How didn't I get that before?"

"A lots changed since iCarly," Sam replied. The web show had finished in their senior year, the day after graduation. It felt like forever ago. "Not many people recognise us anymore,"

She looked out the window at the blurred cars that were speeding past. "Sometimes, I'm sure I recognise myself anymore."

Grace wasn't sure what to say. How could you even start to reply to that?

"He decided he wanted to be a doctor when we were like seventeen," Sam saved her from trying to come up with an answer. "Follow in his dad's footsteps."

"I didn't know his dad is a doctor,"

"Was," Sam corrected. "His dad was a doctor. He died when Freddie was a baby, he worked with Doctors Without Borders."

"Oh," Grace nodded. "I'm sorry."

"I probably shouldn't have even told you," Sam pushed her bangs out of her eyes. "He doesn't like to talk about his dad, so don't mention that I told you, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah of course." Grace nodded. "So, what do work as?"

"Nothing, anymore." Sam said, her eyes the only part of her giving away that she was upset about what had become of her life. "But I qualified as a graphic designer in college. I haven't worked at it since graduation though,"

Sam turned to look at Grace, who had her gaze fixed on the road.

"I honestly don't know what I want to do." She shrugged. "Not unusual for me,"

"Not me," Grace laughed. "I've wanted to be a doctor ever since I was old enough to hold a plastic stethoscope."

"Freddie says you're an amazing doctor," Sam blurted suddenly. "He's always raving about you, and all the people you help. He's always talking about work, actually."

"He is a bit of a workaholic," Grace confirmed. "But you have to love your job when you work as much as we do,"

"Funny," Sam said, opening the door. "That's exactly what Freddie said."

"That's what he always said," She added under her breath, getting out of the car as Grace finished parking.

She obviously didn't want Grace to hear that, or realized that Grace had heard that. It made Grace wonder- was Sam to blame for everything, or did Freddie play a part too?

/

Grace had to admit, Sam was a lot of fun. After a few minutes of awkward silence in the store, she had started to open up a bit, and Grace caught a glimpse of the hilarious person Sam actually was.

They were back in the car, and Grace was about to pull out of the car park when Sam suddenly spoke.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" She asked quietly. "Its not like I've done anything to deserve it."

"You're Freddie's.." Grace paused, not sure what to call her. "You're Freddie's Sam."

"I'm Freddie's Sam.." Sam smiled to herself. "It's a long time since anyone's called me that."

"I can't judge you," Grace continued. "I don't know what you did, or didn't do, and I'm not in the position to judge whether or not you're a good person. I have to base it off what I know about you."

"I don't deserve him." Sam said, changing the topic, or the person in question at least quickly. "Freddie, he's a good guy. The best I've ever met, and all I do is hurt him. He deserves someone who wont do that, someone like you."

Sam must be a very observant person to realize that Grace liked Freddie in that way.

"The thing is," Grace said, a trace of sadness in her voice. "He doesn't want someone like me. You know, everyone thought Freddie was gay at first."

"What?"

Grace nodded. "Yeah, everyone thought he was gay. He never had a girlfriend, went on dates. In all the time I've known him, there's been one or two one night stands usually ending with me pretending to be his girlfriend coming back from work so they'd leave quickly."

"Seriously?" Sam had to laugh.

"Seriously," Grace confirmed. "If I was a betting person, I'd bet anything on you being the only someone he wants."

With that, she picked up most of the bags, leaving Sam watching, stunned, Grace's words still ringing in her head.

"_I'd bet anything on you being the only someone he wants."_

**Author's Note: **I was going to wait until tomorrow to upload this, but its been staring me in the face since I finished it like five hours ago, so.. Here we are. Plus, I don't know if I'll be able to update tomorrow, 'cause I'm going to the St Patricks Day parade.

I was going to write a fic for St Patrick's day, I couldn't think of anything not completely corny and involving mass amounts of drunkenness, I'm not going to bother. Unpatriotic, I know. And playing into the stereotype of Irish people.

So, if I don't update tomorrow, happy St Patrick's Day if you're Irish, and if you aren't. As my brother puts it, St Patrick's Day is just one big excuse for the whole world to be Irish.

I'll admit to this chapter being a bit of a filler chapter, I need it to be here so I can move onto the next bit of the story. Still, I hope you enjoyed it!

As always, thanks for the reviews, alerts, everything, and as always, reviews are love :3


	9. Nine

**Nine.**

Freddie, he wanted to make things better with Sam. He wanted to be able to tell her his every thought and worry, he wanted to be able to come back home, and talk to her.

He wanted things to be how they used to be.

But, he couldn't. Freddie couldn't let Sam back into life without knowing why she left.

"Sam," Freddie began slowly, and even just by his tone the blonde haired woman knew exactly what he was about to ask.

She looked at him, her blue eyes scanning his face.

"I need to know." He said simply. They were sitting across from each other on Freddie's bed, after the kind of conversation that two strangers would share. It was like they were getting to know each other all over again.

"Really?" Sam asked, her expression becoming sad. "Because, I don't think you do."

"If you don't tell me, I don't think I can ever trust you again." Freddie replied simply. "I need to know, if I'm going to let you back into my life."

Sam pushed her bangs off her face, tucking a chunk of her blonde girls behind one ear. She was wringing her hands, and fidgeting slightly. Where was she supposed to begin?

"Do you remember…" Sam began, her voice breaking as she spoke. "Do remember when you were doing your finals, that whole year you barely had time to do anything but study."

"I had to, to get into med school." Freddie defended himself. "But yeah, I remember."

"Well, do you remember Justin Hemsworth, the guy I met at the new job I started that year?" Sam inquired.

"The guy we went on a double date with? He had a girlfriend with red hair, what was her name again?" Freddie was immediately drawn back to their life in San Diego. "Laura?"

"Lauren," Sam corrected.

"What have they got to do with anything?" Freddie raised an eyebrow.

"You have to remember Freddie," Sam said, her voice beginning to sound panicky. "I was lonely. You were always studying, Carly was in New York, all my friends were leaving San Diego and going home,"

Freddie's intense stare put a stop to her rant.

"I was lonely." She repeated slowly. "And Justin, he was there."

"What are you trying to say?" Freddie said, though deep down he knew.

"I.." Sam was thinking how to say it, in the nicest way possible. "I slept with him."

Freddie practically jumped from his position on the bed, stumbling backwards into the chest of drawers.

"You cheated on me?"

Cheated. The word itself was horrible, never mind what it meant.

"I had no one Freddie," Sam tried to explain herself.

"You felt lonely," Freddie practically spat. "You felt lonely, and you think that justifies cheating on me? What sort of twisted logic is that Sam?"

"I don't-" Sam began.

"No, do you know what? I don't want to hear a pathetic excuse." Freddie shook his head. "I'm your husband Sam, you're supposed to be able to talk to me when you feel lonely, anything."

"I don't know what I was thinking," Sam said after a tense pause.

"Clearly Sam, you weren't thinking." Freddie said, looking at her in disbelief. "And, you left? Because of that?"

Sam nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"So, rather than face up to your problems like a real adult, you ran away?" His voice was angry. Disappointed.

"Like a real adult?" Sam felt an icy stab through her chest as the words fell from Freddie's lips.

"You aren't sixteen anymore Sam," He said. "Running away from your problems? It doesn't work anymore."

"I was ashamed!" Sam yelled. "Okay? I was ashamed, and I left. I only wanted to leave for a week, maybe two, and try sort things out in my head."

"What did you need to sort out, huh?" Freddie asked. They were standing face to face now, staring at each other. "Did you need to figure out if you wanted Justin? If you didn't want me anymore?"

"I never once wanted Justin." Sam said.

"You slept with him Sam!" Freddie yelled. "You had to have wanted him!"

"I have never wanted anyone but you." Sam replied. "Never,"

"I find that hard to believe," Freddie said. "Seeing as you cheated on me."

"You're the only guy I've ever been with Freddie," Sam said. "I was scared. I was scared that we'd rushed into everything,"

"We were married for almost five years then Sam." Freddie interrupted. "Were you scared all that time?"

"No," Sam shook her head. "I just saw all of our friends, going out with dozens of people, and I got scared."

"That's dumb." Freddie said. "If you had doubts Sam, you should have told me!"

"Don't you think I know that?" Sam yelled. "Don't you think I know that **now**?"

"I see it only took you five years." Freddie said bitterly.

"It was only meant to be for a week or two." Sam repeated. "I was going to come back. But weeks turned to months, and months turned into a year and I got scared to come back. How the hell was I supposed to explain why I ran away for an entire year?"

She looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"And a year became five." She finished. "I spent everyday thinking about you."

"No," Freddie shook his head. "No, you obviously weren't thinking about me. If you were thinking about me, you wouldn't have left."

It was his turn to speak now.

"I spent every day worrying about you, wondering if you had been hurt," He said. "I wondered if you were still alive. It tore me up Sam, thinking that you might have been hurt, might have died. I've loved you for, for god knows how long. Every time I thought about the future, you were part of it."

He looked at her. "And you just left. So no, no you don't care about me Sam."

"Freddie, Freddie please," Sam said and he turned to leave.

"No." He shook his head. "I can't. I'm going to sleep on the couch,"

"You stay here-" Sam began.

Freddie shook his head, his hand on the handle. "No. I need to get away, I need to get away from you."

Sam watched him slam out of the room, wiping her tears. She had messed up everything. Freddie had been her only constant, the only good thing in her life.

And she did nothing but hurt him.

/

"Freddie," Grace shook her friend awake. She had heard every word of Sam and Freddie's screaming match the previous night, and even if she hadn't, the fact he was curled up on the couch, no blankets, nothing, would tell her something was wrong.

He looked at her with bleary eyes, and let out a groan. His back was killing him.

"Our shift starts in a half hour," Grace said. "Do you want me to get you some clothes?"

Freddie shook his head, knowing that she was just trying to be nice. "Its fine."

"Okay," Grace nodded. "We're leaving in ten minutes."

"Yeah," Freddie sat up, cracking his neck. "I'll be ready."

He stood up with some difficulty, and went to the utility room where some of his clothes were fresh out of the washing machine. He couldn't face Sam, not yet.

Thankfully, his bag was lying on the kitchen table, and he slung it over one shoulder, heading out to the car where Grace, Sarah and Niall already were.

Silently, he sat into his usual seat.

"Are you okay?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah," Freddie plastered a fake smile on his face. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Not a single person in the car believed him, but regardless, Grace put the car into gear, and moved from the driveway.

/

"If we're late," Sarah said through the bobble that was caught between her teeth as she gathered her hair in a ponytail. "Fielding will loose the plot, so c'mon Freddie."

She spoke the Freddie's turned back, he had been standing at his locker silently for the best part of ten minutes, half heartedly changing into his scrubs.

He nodded, and reached into his locker for his stethoscope, but his hand came in contact with a familiar circle instead.

It was his wedding ring.

Freddie slammed the locker closed, so hard in fact that he caused quite a few interns to jump.

"Freddie," Grace was about to reach out and touch his shoulder, but something made her stop.

All his anger suddenly rushed to his head, and Freddie reached out and punched the metal locker with every bit of force he could muster.

"Christ," He groaned, holding his fist close to his chest. Freddie had definitely broke something- and it wasn't the locker.

"That," Grace sighed. "Was stupid."

/

**Author's Note: **I know someone who did the whole punching a locker thing. Its really not a pretty sight. Entertaining, until you realize they've broken their knuckles xD

I have to give a massive shoutout to my best friend Jennifer, who has not only helped me, but made me stop being lazy and update things. She's very helpful!

Anyway, thanks for the reviews, alerts, favourites, everything! As always, reviews are love :3


	10. Ten

**Ten.**

"Its not the first time," Freddie said as Grace bandaged his hand.

"Sorry?" She looked at him, pausing in the middle of her work. Freddie had been waiting in the ER for hours, a trauma case had come in, and that had to take priority over broken knuckles.

"Its not the first time I've done something stupid because of Sam," Freddie repeated. "When we were eighteen, we were having this big fight, I can't even remember what it was about, but I got really frustrated and punched a hole in my bedroom wall."

"You punched a hole in your bedroom wall?" Grace barely suppressed a laugh.

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know. I only meant to like, slam it?"

Grace nodded, understanding what he was trying to say. He was trying to do that thing everyone does when their stressed, reaching out for something to support them.

"I guess I was more frustrated than I thought," He gave a miniscule shrug. "Because I punched a whole in the wall, and broke my hand. Sam, she told everyone I broke it defending her,"

Freddie, he had to smile at the memory. Aside from the searing pain that was a constant for a few weeks, it had all turned out pretty well. Everyone thought he was some kind of karate kid, defending his girlfriend with one swing of his fist.

"She drives me crazy," Freddie said. "But I love her more than anything in the world. I mean, a future without her wouldn't be liveable. D'you know what that feels like, I mean, to love someone that much?"

"Yeah," Grace sighed. "I do."

"I'm sorry," Freddie said quietly, reaching out with his good hand, and turning her cheek to face him.

"For what?" Grace tried to quell the butterflies that formed in her stomach at Freddie's touch.

"I'm sorry I don't feel that way about you." He said.

Grace swallowed. "You know?"

"I overheard you and Sarah talking about it once," Freddie explained. "And I'm a pretty perceptive person Grace, I would have picked up on it eventually."

"Don't," Grace shook her head. "Don't be sorry."

"I am though," Freddie said. "Because you deserve the best Grace. You're my best friend, and I want you to be happy. I'm sorry that its never going to be me, but the truth is, I gave my heart away a long time ago."

"And you never got it back," Grace finished, her tone slightly sad. "I get it Freddie, really."

"You'll still be my best friend?" Freddie said, feeling like a twelve year old girl as he said it.

"Always," Grace returned the smile. "And Freddie?"

She had finished bandaging his hand, and was standing up to leave.

"Sam clearly means everything to you," She said. "And I know what she did is hard to forgive, but isn't it worth a try? You did say you can't see your future without her in it."

Freddie looked at the splint his wrist was in, examining the blue casing carefully.

"You broke your knuckles for her," Grace said. "Make it worth it Freddie."

She was right. He swung his legs off the bed, and grabbed his bag. Walking over to the nurses station, he signed his name on the discharge papers with his shaky left handed scrawl.

He had tried to learn to be ambidextrous a few years previously, but his left handed writing had never progressed past that of a kid learning to write in cursive.

Still, it was better than nothing.

After Dr Fielding had finished her pissed off rant about the fact he'd broken his knuckles, seeing as his hand was one of his most valuable assets, being a doctor and all, she'd told him to go the hell home and come back on Monday.

He was going to be stuck running labs, and handing out charts for weeks now.

Freddie had reached the house at this stage, and he was fumbling with his keys, trying to slot them into the lock with one hand.

"Hello?" He yelled, stepping into the quiet house after a few minutes of painful fumbling.

Poking his head into various rooms, he looked for the familiar blonde curls. Freddie, he needed to talk to Sam.

"Sam?" He called out, walking up the stairs. Freddie opened the door with his elbow, and walked into his bedroom. Rather than seeing Sam, curled up asleep, or on his computer, he saw nothing.

Nothing, and no one. One look at the armchair in the corner of his room told him that Sam's bag was gone, a look in the wardrobe told him that the few clothes she had were gone too.

Then, he saw the paper on the paper. Freddie reached out and grabbed it quickly.

They were divorce papers, complete with Sam's signature. Of course, she'd gotten them while he was at the hospital. Conveniently, Carly was a lawyer.

There was a yellow sticky note stuck to the papers, and in Sam's simple handwriting, there was an 'I'm sorry,' scrawled across it in black pen.

It took everything Freddie had to not crumple the papers into a ball. She did not get to do this to him, not again.

/

Maybe he knew her too well, but after he phoned Carly and she had told him she didn't know where Sam was, he knew exactly where to go.

The park, where he'd first asked her out. Neither of them were particularly sentimental, but that park meant everything to them. So many big things, huge developing points in their relationship had taken place there.

It made sense for her to go there, even if it was as a goodbye.

"What do you think you're doing?" Freddie demanded as he reached the blue bench in the far corner of the park. His feet, as if on autopilot had taken him there, and to Sam.

"You just don't know when to give up," Sam said, not bothering to turn around and look at him. "I'm trying to make things easier for you."

"Easier?" Freddie snorted. "Well, that's the dumbest thing I've heard all day."

"Yeah, easier. When I'm gone, you can go get Grace, and you can have your second chance at a happy life." Sam said simply.

"If I wanted Grace, I would have got her ages ago." Freddie replied. "I love her, as a sister. I'm not in love with her,"

"You should be-"

"You don't choose who you fall in love with," Freddie interrupted. "My life would be a hell of a lot simpler if you could."

Sam had finally turned to look at him. "What did you do to your hand?"

"Punched a locker." Freddie said.

"See? You do just get hurt because of me." Sam threw her hands to the sky. "That's exactly why I'm leaving."

"No." Freddie said firmly. "You don't get to run away. You don't get to leave this time."

"You don't control me Freddie." Sam said angrily.

"No." Freddie repeated. "You're going to shut the hell up, and let me talk."

She stayed silent.

"Good." Freddie nodded, and took a breath. "I hate you, for what you did. I can't believe you'd cheat on me, and what makes it worse is that you ran away. And I hate you for it."

Sam looked at him. Was he really here just to get angry with her? To tell her he hated her?

"But," Freddie said, running his good hand through his hair. "I love you a million times more. Thing is Sam, living without you? It hasn't been living. I've been surviving."

He took a step closer to her. "On the outside, I'm fine. But its been killing me, living without you. I married you, ten years ago for a reason. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I need to spend the rest of my life with you."

"And what if I don't feel the same way anymore?" Sam said bluntly.

Freddie grabbed her hand. "If you didn't love me anymore, you'd stop wearing these."

Her wedding ring, and engagement ring were now at eye level.

"It's a ring Freddie," Sam ripped her hand from his grasp. "It's a damn ring."

"Yeah, and when we put those damn rings on, we made promises." Freddie's voice was close to a yell. "I made a promise that I would be there, for better or for worse. I promised I'd always be there for you, that I'd always love you. And I don't break my promises."

"Maybe I do."

"No," Freddie shook his head. "You don't break your promises. If you did, you would have filled for divorce years ago."

Sam stayed silent.

"You don't get to walk away." Freddie repeated. "You don't get to end this."

"I'm sorry." Sam blurted. It was the first time in a while that he'd heard her say those words aloud.

"I'm sorry," She repeated. "I'm sorry I cheated on you, I'm sorry that I ran away, I'm sorry that I've never done anything to deserve you, and I'm sorry I do nothing but hurt you. I'm sorry."

Freddie reached out to touch her, but she pulled away.

"Sam." He said firmly. "Don't make me punch something else."

Sam tried to hide her grin, but she couldn't. She gave a small smile, looking at Freddie.

"We're going to be okay, eventually." Freddie hadn't quite forgiven her yet, but he knew he could.

This time, when he reached out to touch her, Sam let him.

He hugged her close to his chest, breathing in her scent, the vanilla, the hint of bacon and the random dash of strawberry. She still smelled like Sam, she still felt like Sam, and someday, she would be his Sam again.

/

**Author's Note**: I have a bit of a dilemma. I have four ways to go with this story, and I can't choose which way to go.

Number one, I could mark this story as complete, and leave the rest up to your wonderful imaginations. Two, I could upload the epilogue I've written that bounces into the future a little, or three I could continue this story into the future a bit more.

I honestly don't know which way to go, though I'm leaning a bit towards continuing it into the future. But, I'm going to leave it up to all you lovely people, so tell me what you think!

As always, thanks for the reviews, alerts, everything! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and reviews are the best form of love :3


	11. Eleven

**Eleven.**

"So," Freddie began. He and Sam were in a coffee shop right next to the hospital, having lunch. Freddie was working, and he had to stay close enough to get back as fast as possible if he was paged.

"So." Sam mimicked with a small grin. It felt like their first ever date, and maybe that was a good thing, starting all over again that is.

"When do you finish your internship?" She inquired, taking a sip of her coffee.

"The intern exams are in two weeks," Freddie said. "I'm going to be studying like crazy 'till then."

"Nothing much has changed then." Sam said, a hint of bitterness in her tone.

Freddie sighed. "I know that it feels like San Diego all over again, but I promise you, its not going to be like that. As soon as the intern exams are done, I'm going to try get some vacation time."

"Vacation time?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Freddie nodded. "I think it's a good idea."

"And where would we be going?" Sam asked with interest.

He tapped his nose. "That's for me to know, and for you to find out."

"You're annoying," Sam said sweetly.

Before Freddie could reply, his pager bleeped.

"I'm sorry," He said apologetically, downing the last of his coffee. "I'll see you at home?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded.

Freddie nodded, and almost stopped to kiss her on the cheek. He settled for giving her shoulder a quick squeeze instead. They weren't there, not yet.

Sam watched him leave the coffee shop, her fingers wrapped around her still half full mug. She really was an idiot.

What she did, it had destroyed everything she and Freddie had. Someday, they'd be okay, but she had to wonder if they would ever have all the love, all the passion of their relationship back.

If they didn't, she had to live with the fact that it was all her fault.

She twisted her wedding rings on her finger, watching as they glinted in the sun. She was so engrossed in the rings, she didn't noticed someone calling her name.

"Sam?" The woman's voice was all too familiar. "Sam, is that you?"

Sam looked up, and came face to face with Carly. She hadn't seen the other woman since she had told her to leave her house, and not come back until she had sorted things out with Freddie.

She hadn't seen her in two months, more in fact. Sam had spoken to her on the phone, once for the divorce papers, but she had picked those up when she knew Carly wasn't at her office.

"Carly," Sam couldn't help but feel nervous. "How are you?"

"I'm good." Carly nodded. "Do you mind if I join you?"

Sam shook her head. "No, go ahead."

"Thanks," Carly smiled gratefully. She was wearing a smart suit, as usual, and she set her leather briefcase on one of the spare chairs at the table. Carly had always been the image of perfection, and was always professional.

Its just how she was.

"How are things with you?" Carly inquired, stirring her coffee slightly.

"I'm okay," Sam nodded. "The doctors say that I'm going to be just fine, no scars or anything."

"That's good to hear," Carly smiled. "And how are things with you and Freddie?"

"We're.." Sam paused. "We're getting there. Its going to take a while, but we're getting there."

Carly nodded. "Look, Sam, I'm sorry-"

"Don't be," Sam shook her head. "If you hadn't thrown me out, none of this would have happened."

"That's my point, you wouldn't have gotten hurt," Carly started, confused.

"But, if I hadn't gotten hurt, I would never have spoken to Freddie." Sam said simply. "I should really be thanking you."

"How about we just call it quits?" Carly said, clearly uncomfortable at the thought of Sam thanking her for being a bitch, throwing her out, and basically causing her attack.

"I can work with that," Sam nodded.

"So, you're planning on sticking around?" Carly inquired. "For good?"

Sam nodded. "I'm staying put this time around. I have a second chance her Carly, and I'm going to give it everything I've got."

"That's, that's good to hear Sam." Carly nodded. Once upon a time, conversation between the two women would have flowed easily, they would be laughing, and joking, and they would be the best of friends.

Not anymore. In all in stupidity, Sam had lost Carly too, but unlike with Freddie, she wasn't entirely sure if she would get her back.

"Are you going to try get an interview at a graphic design firm?" Carly asked.

"I don't know," Sam shrugged. "Honestly. I'm not sure what I'm going now, but I don't think I'm going to do graphic design again."

Suddenly, a phone rang. Carly didn't move, so clearly it wasn't her phone. One look at the table told Sam that it was Freddie's phone, he'd left it behind.

"Hello, Freddie Benson's phone?" Sam said into the pear phone, holding it close to her ear.

"_Hey Sam, its me," _Freddie's voice buzzed down the line. _"Could you drop in my phone? To the nurse's station, do you remember Jane?"_

"Yeah, I do." Sam replied. "I'll bring it in straightaway,"

"_Thanks Sam."_

Sam hung up, and locked the screen. "I have to go," She said apologetically.

"No problem," Carly nodded. "Its been uh, good talking to you Sam."

Sam didn't trust herself to say anything, so she gave another nod, and left the coffee shop. The hospital was just across the street, so she was stepping through the sliding doors in no time at all.

She'd been back to the hospital a few time since her discharge, for check up's, getting stitches removed, all that kind of stuff. Even though she'd only been there a few times, Sam knew her way around pretty well.

"Hi, I'm looking for Jane?" She said at the nurses station, looking for the small brown haired nurse.

"I'll get her for you," The nurse nodded, and moved to find Jane.

"Mrs Benson," Jane greeted.

"Call me Sam," Sam said quickly, Mrs Benson making her feel both old, and slightly happy. "I'm here with Freddie's phone?"

"Oh, yeah. He said he forgot that," Jane nodded. "He's in surgery at the moment, but I'll give it too him as soon as he gets out."

"Thanks," Sam passed her the pear phone, and Jane put it in the pocket of her scrubs. They said a quick goodbye, and Sam turned to leave.

As she walked through the halls of the hospital, she looked at the nurses and doctors rushing around. It made her wish she had a job where she helped people, or did some sort of good.

Sam sighed, and pushed the button for the bottom floor. She didn't have much direction with her life right now, and she wanted to get it back on track.

She needed to, because she would go crazy if she stayed at the house, day in day out.

/

**Authors Note: **So, I've decided to go with option three! I love this story too much to stop now, so.. I'm not stopping now!

Unfortunately, the weekend is over and I actually have school all this week, which means less updates.. But on the upside I'm out at half eleven tomorrow morning, so I'll have more time to write!

Is anyone having a problem with getting email's from fan fiction? I didn't get any Friday night, or all Saturday, and I've only started getting a couple today. They're really delayed though, and I'm only getting one or two? Its starting to drive me back, to be honest.

Anyway, thanks for the reviews, alerts, and for just reading this! As always, reviews are love :3


	12. Twelve

**Twelve.**

It was two days to the intern exams, and Grace, Sarah, Niall and Freddie gathered in the living room of Grace's house, quizzing each other on all the medical information they needed to know. There was books, flashcards, everything.

Not to mention the cartons of Chinese food that were scattered across the room in a heap, and the dozens of empty bottles of water, soda, and juice.

Freddie was about to ask a question when Sam entered the room, holding a tray of cupcakes.

"Here you go," She grinned, setting them down. "I'm going to see Gibby, I'll be back later. Have fun studying,"

Sam did exactly what Freddie had done a few days previously in the coffee shop, she squeezed his shoulder lightly and left the room.

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Cupcakes?"

"Its this thing we always used to do," Freddie explained, reaching for one of them. "Whenever one of us was studying, she'd bring me cupcakes, and I'd bring her bacon."

"Okay then," Sarah grabbed a cupcake for herself, and leaned back on the sofa.

"What's with the whole, shoulder squeezing thing?" Niall inquired. Apparently they'd moved on from study, and it was quiz Freddie about his personal life time.

"We're getting to know each other again," Freddie shrugged, feeling his simple explanation was enough.

Apparently not, because Sarah turned to face Niall.

"They're not doing anything," She said, barely holding back a smile. "At all."

"How do you know that?" Freddie said, but his protests were lost under the shout Niall left out.

"Dude!" He yelped. "You're married to this hot blonde, and you aren't even sleeping together?"

"Define sleeping together?" Freddie tried lamely.

"Not sleeping in the same bed Freddie," Sarah rolled her eyes. "God knows I've slept in your bed enough times."

This time all eyes were on Sarah.

"Generally when I'm drunk-" She began.

"She's a sad drunk," Freddie confirmed.

"Or," Sarah shot Freddie daggers. "When either of us have had a bad day, and need someone to talk to. Grace does it."

"Used to do it," Grace corrected. "It'd be a little weird with Sam there."

"You're more than welcome to stay in my bed," Niall waggled his eyebrows, and earned a pillow thrown at his head.

"You deserved that," Grace said, her tone angry but her smile as wide as ever.

"Can we get back to studying?" Freddie said. "I don't think I know any of this."

"Who are you trying to kid?" Sarah tossed a pillow at Freddie. "You're one of the best interns in the hospital!"

"Only because he memorises entire pages of medical books for fun," Grace teased.

"I do not!" Freddie protested, and as they laughed, Freddie felt a strange sense of belonging, here with his friends from the hospital. It wasn't bad strange, it was strange because it was something he hadn't felt in a while.

He liked it.

/

Sam was sitting in Gibby's kitchen, waiting for her friend to come back. There had been a knock at the door, and he had gone to answer it.

There was a reason that she had gone to see Gibby rather than Carly- she wasn't ready to see Carly again, by choice at least. Their meeting in the coffee shop had been all kinds of awkward.

It wasn't that Sam blamed her for what had happened, nothing like that in fact, it was more because Carly had told her a few home truths that night, and while she needed to hear them, it still hurt.

"Sam," Gibby began, entering the kitchen. "Carly's here."

If Sam's life was a movie, this would be the part where she'd loudly groan, or say something like 'speak of the devil.' But, her life wasn't a movie. This was real life, and she had to put a brave face on and pretend she wasn't inwardly freaking out.

"I'm going to leave you two alone," Gibby said, with very little tact, backing out of the room as he did so.

"He's never been good at the whole subtlety thing," Carly gave Sam a small smile.

"Yeah," Sam nodded, and a tense silence followed.

"Sam, I don't want things to be weird between us." Carly began, looking at the blonde woman intently. "I feel so horrible about what happened to you, and I can't help but feel that its my fault."

"It not your fault," Sam shook her head.

"It is Sam," Carly said, her voice raising a little bit, something that only happened when she got upset. "If I hadn't thrown you out of my house, you wouldn't have gotten shot, you wouldn't have gotten so hurt-"

"It not your fault Carly!" Sam yelled, and Carly was taken aback at her tone.

"Its not your fault," Sam repeated. "If you hadn't thrown me out, I would have gone right back to running away from my problems. I would never have gone to see Freddie, we wouldn't be trying to make things work between us."

Sam looked at Carly carefully. "I'm getting my life back on track Carly, and its because of you throwing me out."

"Then why were things so weird in the coffee shop?"

"I don't know," Sam shrugged. "I think its because you told me a lot of things that day, and I needed to hear them, but they still hurt. A lot actually."

"I'm sorry," Carly said. "I just want what's best for you Sam, and Freddie is what's best for you."

"I know," Sam sighed. "But it doesn't mean that I'm what's best for him."

"Don't be stupid Sam." Carly replied. "After you left? He couldn't function. All he had was college, and that empty apartment of yours. He moved out after a few weeks, he said he couldn't stand living there without you."

She looked at her best friend. "These past few weeks, with you here? it's the happiest I've seen Freddie in five years. You mightn't think so, but you are what's best for him. He needs you as much as you need him."

"I've missed you." Sam said quietly, after she took in what Carly had said. "I can't remember the last time I hung out with you, or had a proper conversation with you."

"Well, you're here for good now Sam, and we've got a long time to catch up on five years of missing out." Carly said. "I've missed you too."

The two best friends hugged, for the first time in god knows how long.

"I just love a happy ending," Gibby said from the doorway, rousing a laugh from the two women.

"Don't we all," Carly laughed.

It all seemed so simple, her and Carly reconciling. Sam wished it was going to be that easy for her and Freddie, but then again she didn't cheat on Carly.

"I know an architect who's office is hiring," Carly said as they sat down at Gibby's table once again. "I can put in a good word for you if you want?"

Sam shook her head. "I'm not going back to being an architect."

"Why not?"

"I've lost my passion for it." Sam said. "I want to do something to help people Carly. I hear Freddie, and all the other doctors talking about how they save people every day, and I'm jealous. I want to make some sort of difference,"

"Do you want to be a doctor then?" Carly inquired.

"I'd never get into med school, let alone afford it. Freddie's up to his eyeballs in debt, and we'd never get by if I added to that." Sam explained.

"There's nursing college," Gibby offered. "They're less expensive, as far as I know."

"I'm not cut out to do anything medical." Sam sighed. "There has to be another way to make a difference, right?"

"How about a teacher?" Carly suggested brightly. "I mean, you'd be educating the adults of tomorrow. That's making a difference,"

"I spent all of my time in school praying to get out of it," Sam rolled her eyes. "Do you really think I'd go back and spend the rest of my life in one?"

"Good point.." Carly said, though she was disappointed her idea had been shot down.

"How about a social worker?" Gibby said out of the blue.

"He's right Sam!" Carly almost squealed. "You'd be helping kids, giving them a better chance at life. It's the perfect career for you!"

Sam wasn't sure. "I don't know.."

"Think about it, at least." Carly said. "Ill find some stuff about social workers for you, and I'll bring it over tomorrow. It has to be worth thinking about, seriously."

A sudden wave of tiredness hit Sam. She still wasn't totally right, and got tired a lot easier than she did before the attack.

"I'm going to go home," She stifled a yawn, picking up her bag.

"Think about it Sam," Carly said seriously.

"I'll think about it." Sam nodded. "I promise."

/

"I've been trying to figure out where to go from here," Sam said as she and Freddie settled into bed. They had just turned off the lights. "What I'm going to do with the rest of my life I mean."

"Any ideas?" Freddie asked, blinking slightly as his eyes adjusted to the dark.

"Carly and Gibby think I'd be a good social worker." Sam said, and waited to hear Freddie's opinion.

"I think it's a great idea Sam," Freddie nodded. "I mean, you did say you wanted to help people."

"I guess."

"Plus," Freddie looked at her, his expression serious. "You can relate to a lot of the stuff you'd be dealing with."

In a simple sentence, Freddie had dragged up memories of her past. Her father, the drinking, the hitting. Closing her eyes, she took a breath, and blocked the memories again.

"If I do become a social worker," Sam said. "What if I can't handle seeing kids go through what I went through?"

"But you'll be saving kids from going through what you went through your whole life." Freddie said reassuringly. "You're the strongest person I know, and I believe you can do it."

"Really?"

"Of course," Freddie confirmed. "When have I ever lied to you?"

Sam sat quietly for a few seconds. "I love you," She blurted.

Freddie looked a little surprised, but he smiled. "I love you too."

He put his arms around her, and Sam willingly fell back against his chest, smiling as she did so. They were going to be okay.

/

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay in putting this up, but real life's been kind of hectic lately. That, and the fact I was completely devoid of inspiration for this story. But, I got the chapter done in the end!

Thanks so much for the reviews, alerts, everything. Thankfully ff . net is starting to work properly again, and I'm actually getting emails from the site.

As always, reviews are love, and motivation in fact :3


	13. Thirteen

**Thirteen.**

It was the morning of the intern exams, and Freddie was running around like a headless chicken. Sam on the other hand, was sitting calmly at the island in the center of the kitchen, chewing on a bowl of cereal.

"Calm down," She started to say.

"I can't!" Freddie said, hopping from foot to foot. "The rest of my life depends on this exam!"

"C'mon Freddie," Sam sighed. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"I could fail," Freddie said, and before Sam could reassure him he wouldn't, Freddie continued.

"They could throw me off the program, they do that you know, throw the five interns with the lowest grade off the program." He continued. "And I might as well give up if I get thrown off the program. This is the best hospital in Seattle Sam-"

"Freddie." She interrupted. "You've been studying non stop. You are going to be fine."

"You think so?" Freddie looked about ten as he stared at her, anxiously waiting her reassurance.

"Of course," Sam nodded. "Not only are you a total nerd when it comes to studying,"

Freddie rolled his eyes. Of course she had to get that in there.

"But I believe in you." She added quietly.

That was what Freddie needed to hear. "Thanks Sam."

"Hey, its my job to be the supportive wife." She smiled at him. Freddie gave her a tight hug, his arms wrapping around her waist, just above the elastic of her striped PJ bottoms. It was nice, to be able to hold her close to him like that. It had always felt like they'd fitted together, like they'd been made for each other.

Grace was standing by the door, watching them. She hadn't been there that long, but she had been there long enough to realize something. Sam and Freddie, they had their problems, but they weren't going to break up anytime soon.

When they were together, there was a zing of electricity in the room. It was rare to find people with that level of chemistry. She knew she never had a chance with Freddie now.

It wasn't that she had believed she did up until Sam's arrival, Grace has realized months ago Freddie wasn't ever going to see her as more than a friend. She just held onto a tiny silver of hope up until that point, but seeing the couple share a hug, she let that silver of hope go.

It wasn't easy, it hurt like a bitch in actual fact, but Grace figured having Freddie as a friend was better than having no Freddie at all.

"Freddie," Grace said quietly, feeling bad for interrupting their moment. "We're leaving."

Sam kissed his cheek. "Go, you'll do awesome."

Freddie nodded, and grabbed his bag, following Grace out the door. As he did so, he thought about the start of his intern year. Never, in a million years, would he have thought that this is where he would be. He and Sam were on the mend, and he was close to feeling happy again.

Actually, he was happy again. Having Sam in his life, however complicated, always made life a lot more bearable.

He felt that maybe he could pass the exams now. Sam's reassurance was all he needed.

All he ever needed was Sam, really.

/

Freddie stifled a yawn as he left the hospital. It was only eight at night, but he felt as if he had worked a forty eight hour shift, instead of spending the day trying to sneak into the ER, all the while preparing for the intern exam he would sit that afternoon.

"Hey."

He looked up, and saw Sam sitting on one of the benches outside the hospital. Dressed in skinny jeans, a grey and navy top and a grey jacket Freddie had never seen before, she looked like she'd walked from the pages of a magazine. A month ago, she was a mess.

Now, she was Sam again, almost. The sparkle was returning to her eyes, and she was starting to laugh and joke again.

"Hey," He returned the smile, his stomach suddenly doing backflips. Why did he all of a sudden feel fifteen again, and on the fire escape at Bushwell, about to have his first kiss with Sam?

"How did it go?" She inquired, standing up.

"Good." Freddie nodded. "I'm happy with it."

"I knew you could do it," Sam said, smiling. And she did know. Freddie Benson, her Freddie, he could do anything.

Something inside Freddie snapped, and he leaned down, (Sam was considerably shorter than him nowadays,) and he kissed her. It had been five years since his lips had touched her, but as soon as they made contact, sparks flew.

The same old sparks that had never left.

Sam's arms wound around his neck as the simple kiss turned into a full on, passionate and heavy lip lock, and Freddie's came to rest on her waist. It was so natural, and comfortable.

They broke apart after what felt like an eternity, and Freddie looked at Sam, his breath ragged. It dawned on him that it was true, what people said. Being married? It meant falling in love with the same person over and over, and he had just fallen in love with Sam all over again.

/

**Author's Note: **This was meant to be the last chapter, but I've decided to split it, I thought this was a good place to leave this chapter. Firstly, sorry for the delay in updating. For the most part, it was procrastination and sheer lack of motivation that stopped me from updating, but then, my laptop stopped working this morning.

I don't know what happened, but I can't turn it on properly, and I've possibly lost all of my stuff. Thats not only the end of this story, updates for all my ongoing fanfic's, a few completed fanfic's I haven't posted yet, as well as all my original work, and photos, music, movies.. And stupid me didn't back it up on my brothers hard drive since before Christmas, so I've lost everything from the past six or seven months.

I thought I would cry when it happened, honestly.

On a happier note, iOMG! My reaction was pretty much 'oh my god.' What an amazing episode! I was expecting the kiss in a way, but then again I wasn't expecting it. I just can't believe we have to wait until after June for the next part! While we're on the topic, I'm just going to put it out there that I did a continuation fic for iOMG.

I usually hate writing continuations, but it was kind of begging to be written!

One last thing, if you're looking for awesome stuff to read, you should check out the Cabal! There's a link to the profile on my profile, and all the authors are listed there.

If you're too lazy to look at my profile, here's the authors; **aussiemma, axel100, BaalRules, BoxOfTrinkets, boxofpiglets, Coyote Laughs, Champagne Scene, Deviocity, Hartful13, hidden-in-the-pictures, ItalianBabexo8, iCabal, iCarlyangst, iLuvNathanKrEsS, JamesTheGreater, KingxLeon21, Myjumpingsocks, ober22, pairababes, Pieequals36, pigwiz, Tech-Man, The Earl of Sandwich, Waffles Of Doom,**** xXACCEBXx** .

All awesome, and all worth a look, I promise!

I'm going to end this incredibly long authors note now! Reviews are love :3


	14. Fourteen

**Fourteen.**

"I passed?" Freddie's jaw hit the floor. "I actually passed?"

They had just gotten the results of the intern exams, and Freddie had passed. What he didn't know was that he had gotten the highest mark out of all the interns on the hospital. He was fixated on the fact he had passed, and he was going to be a resident!

All his nerves, they were for nothing. Sam was right, he had studied enough, and he had passed. His career had just moved on a little bit more.

"Well done Freddie," Grace smiled. She too, had passed with flying colours. The room was full of happy interns, though there was a handful of distressed faces, on interns who had failed and didn't know what the future held for them.

"You too Grace," He nodded, and fished in the pocket of his blue scrubs for his phone. Freddie hit number one on his speed dial, something he'd changed only days previously. The number itself never had a contact attached to it, for the past five years at least.

_"Hello?" _Sam's voice buzzed down the line.

"Hey Sam." Freddie began, is voice trembling with excitement. He could hardly hold it in, being a doctor was all he wanted after all.

_"Did you get the results?"_ Sam spoke before he could continue. _"Am I speaking to Dr Fredward Benson, resident now?"_

Freddie ignored the fact she used his full name, and laughed. "Yeah, I passed."

_"I know you would." _He could almost see Sam smile. _"I've got news too."_

"Oh yeah?" He said, curious.

_"I applied for that social worker course, and I got it."_

"Seriously?" Freddie gasped. "Sam, thats fantastic!" Things were looking up for them, they really were. Sam was going to make an amazing social worker.

_"I'm pretty excited."_

"You should be," Freddie said into the handset. "I'm so proud of you."

_"I'm more proud of you. Freddie, you're a freaking doctor!"_

"Like I wasn't before?" He raised an eyebrow.

_"Yeah, yeah. I'll correct myself, you're a **resident **now." _Sam replied, her tone one of laughter.

"When's your course starting?" Freddie inquired, his mind whirling. He had a idea.

_"Not for another three weeks, why?"_

"I've got all of next week off, so I think its time for my surprise." Freddie said, recalling the conversation they'd had in the coffee shop.

_"What would this surprise be?" _

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, would it?"

_"I hate surprises Freddie, you know I do."_

"You'll love this one," He reassured her. "I promise."

_"I'll trust you," _Sam replied. _"Are you going to be home soon?"  
_

"In the next few hours," Freddie answered. "Start packing."

_"For what?"_

"My surprise, we're leaving in the morning."

_"Now I'm curious."_

"And I'm not telling," Freddie laughed. "I have to go, but I'll talk to you later?"

_"I'll see you then."_

"I love you," Freddie said, about to move the phone from his ear.

_"Love you too Frednub."_

_/_

"Seriously Freddie, tell me where we're going!" Sam said as she walked alongside Freddie, her hand in his, their fingers tightly intertwined.. They had flown out from Seattle that morning, Freddie preventing her from finding out where they were going through various blind folds, ear plugs and his hands.

"Nope," Freddie was enjoying the control he had over his wife at that very second. She had no idea where they were, or where they were going. Sam always liked to be the one in charge, so it was a refreshing change for Freddie himself.

"Freddie, don't make me hit you."Sam said seriously.

"You can't hit me, you're tiny." He retorted.

"Don't make fun of the fact puberty wasn't good to me."

"Oh, it was good to you." Freddie breathed in her ear, causing her to giggle uncharacteristically. "Just in other ways."

"I'm going to hit you, if you don't tell me where we are." Sam repeated her earlier threat. She hated not knowing where she was going. Sam had never been one for surprises, she had almost killed Carly when the other girl arranged a surprise party for her sixteenth.

What she had said back then still stood now, thirteen years later, 'Mama doesn't like surprises.'

"I can show you instead," Freddie untied the blindfold he had forced on Sam, and pulled it from her eyes, showing her exactly where they were.

The two of them were standing in front of a white chapel, a chapel that seemed to glow in the bright sun of the early morning. Sam could faintly hear the wedding march playing in the church, and the arch that stood in front of the building looked all too familiar.

"Is this..?" Sam's jaw dropped. This was the church where they'd gotten married, way back when they were nineteen. It looked the very same, aside from a bit of flaking paint on the corners of the building, something that could only be caused by the weather.

"Yeah," Freddie nodded, smiling at the sparkle that had fully returned to her eyes. There was the Sam he knew and loved. "Don't you realize what date it is?"

It dawned on Sam there and then, as they stood together in the bright sun of the Las Vegas morning. "Its the twenty third of June."

Freddie leaned down to kiss her gently, both of their faces had smiles plastered across them. They stayed like that for a few seconds, smiling into each other, before Freddie spoke.

"Happy tenth anniversary Sam."

/

**Author"s Note: **So much fluff, my teeth hurt! But, there you have it. This story is done, finished, finally completed. There was an epilogue, but I lost it when my laptop went bust, and I honestly prefer ending it here.

Thank you for all the reviews, alerts and favourites. It was amazing to read them all, and I love every single one of your for sticking with me! It means the world, honestly.

Reviews are live :3


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